she makes me feel wonderful whenever i come home having someone to greet me and be happy to see me. i love you chichi :) well i finally received my new glasses todaii, and my parents are considering lasik [spelling?] eye surgery for me when i'm older. hmmm i don't know...i can stick to glasses i'm pretty sick of contact lenses right now... i'm really amazed. what happens to us from middle school to highschool? what happens to the promises of being friends forever? people change. and as immature as it sounds... i'm afraid of change. my best friend...well...she used to be. she changed so much. we used to be with each other all the time from sixth grade to ninth, and then she had her first real boyfriend. she didn't really talk to brookie and i. when he dumped her, she went to brookie of course. i feel left out sometimes. i love brookie, she's still with me after all of these years. but sometimes i wonder if i should be a "glam girl" to be accepted. sometimes i wonder if i should do stupid things.
should i loose weight the easy waii? become bulemic and starve myself, only to binge and end up in a hospital? should i completely change my personality to become what people want me to be, what my parents want me to be, so for once people would be "oh jenny, you do such a great job" instead of "that's not good enough." i don't even want to go back to thailand next month. it'll just be the same thing again. "jenny, you're fat. loose some weight."
"jenny, why can't you be more like your sister?"
"jenny, you shouldn't slouch. be proud of your chest." jenny this, jenny that. haha...it's hard to be human. but...california's in less than a year... | 
